{ Sidenote: if you're new here you should check out my pre-Christmas blog about putting God in the backseat and how I felt led to experience more of Him this year. }
I apologize in advance to any fans of Dear Evan Hansen who may have stumbled upon this blog completely by mistake - my blog has nothing to do with Dear Evan Hansen or that catchy mom-inspired song from the musical that I've simply used as the title for this eye-opening first encountered of Day One of Week One of The Experiencing God Bible Study by Henry Blackaby. I've done a handful of Bible studies since I became a believer in 2006, but I don't recall a single one that had me ugly crying on day one. There was ugly crying after the initial pulling back of my legs to avoid more of the toes in my comfy ankle boots being stepped on. So now that I've dried my eyes and my toes are no longer throbbing....let me tell you what happened.
The message [ I don't want to use the word "title" in here because I feel that just doesn't get the point across. This is a Bible study and I feel like message is a more fitting word to describe the point the author was trying to get across to his readers ] of Day One is Jesus is The Way.
Alright, stop. (who heard the tune to "Ice, Ice Baby" start when I said that? You are my PEOPLE!)
Blackaby dives right into Day One with some real truth. Jesus is our map. Which is really really difficult to digest for this majorly left-brained single mama like me. It's not about believing who Jesus is or that He died so my sin slate would be wiped clean. It has more to do with the fact that as a majorly left-brained single mama, I'm a planner.
Real talk? Just about everything in my little family's life is planned by me. Vacations, appointments, activities, schedules.....I could keep going but I think you get the point. I have a paper planner that I carry with me because I don't trust digital applications not to fail me. Our meal planning is done on a monthly calendar that I print and put on the fridge (not that my kids pay attention to it, I'm just a little obsessed with using a Sharpie to mark off each meal as it gets made like it matters where we are on the calendar - we have food to eat!).
Planning is pretty much second nature. It comes with the territory I guess? Some kind of silly little notion that planning gives me some sense of control in life that I'm sure stems from childhood trauma. So imagine how easy it can be for me to throw what has become almost an unconscious habit at Jesus.
Blackaby gets real here. Where in scripture does it ever tell us that Jesus would give us the roadmap to our lives? Where does it tell us that we get clued into the details and plans that God has for our lives?
Blackaby tells us that while we might want to ask for a roadmap and all the plans and directions, and we just want God to tell us where we are heading, He says: "Just follow me. One day at a time."
John 14:6 does not say "I'll show you the way" OR "I'll give you the roadmap" or even "I'll tell you which direction to go". It simply says: "I am the way."
JESUS is the way. JESUS is our map.
So why am I ugly crying and pulling back my aching toes? Because when Blackaby goes on to mention Abram in Genesis 12:1-5 and his immediate response to God's instruction to "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you."
Abram got up AND WENT.
He didn't ask questions. He didn't question God about what land or why he couldn't hang out with his family a few more days, or what this new place would be like.
Abram got up AND WENT.
And then a question in the Bible study that required you to indicate one of four options as an answer: Are you ready to follow God's will that way?
So I checked my heart and then I checked my answer. I bubbled in the little box next to the option of: I'm not sure.
And I can say honestly without a doubt that I knew I was going to mark that answer before I even picked up my pen. Because the truth is, I'm always asking God for the roadmap. Or an outline. Or at least some details on the plans for my life.
And that's when I tucked my legs in a little bit and the ugly crying started. It was the realization that I believe that Jesus died for me, I worship a God who loved me enough to send His son to die that agonizing death, but there has always been an inclination (did you see my last post?) to put God in the backseat and ask Him to pass me the roadmap.
I'm human, y'all. And I'm going to make mistakes. I truly believe that God is using this season of my life to grow me and teach me how to be faithful and trust Him fully. And I am certain He used day one of Henry Blackaby's Bible study to do just that.
There are three questions at the end of each daily lesson to reflect on:
1. What was the most meaningful statement or scripture you read today?
2. Reword the statement or scripture into a prayer of response to God.
3. What does God want you to do in response to today's study?
It is not my intention to share all of my answers to those questions here because I want to share them in my small group on Sunday evening. But my biggest takeaway from the lesson is probably just where Blackaby was going when he wrote it:
I feel like the need to understand that and put it into practice will help guide me throughout the rest of this study. How am I allowing God to lead my life and be my way if I'm always putting Him in the backseat and asking Him to pass me the map?
I need to be able to faithfully trust God with the plans He has for my life without a need for the roadmap or outline or seeing the plans He may have. I need to be able to follow Him one day at a time and know that even if I don't know what the plan is that I worship a God who always has a plan and a purpose for my life.
I'm excited to see where the rest of this road will take me. Stick around and maybe I'll share some more.
